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Aesthetics Satire

Business Insultant

An individual should focus on their core competences to provide best value. This is their unique value proposition. If we look at the most prominent value adding individuals in business and the media, their most striking feature is their rudeness. Rudeness is therefore the core competence and unique value proposition of the people who add the most value to a business.

Many companies hire business consultants to add additional value. Since the best way they can add value is by being rude, the bland behaviour of current consultancy practice is clearly short-changing business. What is needed are incredibly rude individuals. The ruder the individual, the more value they are adding to the company.

I have therefore decided to become a business insultant. Companies can hire me to be rude and threatening to staff. Especially to management, who are best placed to pass on received value. I don’t think that twenty thousand dollars a day is too much to ask for such a vital service.