“And so, ” said the Baron “the ringing of my diving bell allowed me to lift from the ocean floor the heaviest pearl ever discovered. I later had it made into a brooch by the finest craftsmen in the land.”
“But Baron, ” interjected the host, “surely such a weighty trinket could never actually be worn. It would be worthless!”
The Baron paused but for a moment.
“My dear sir, as you know, the defining characteristic of art is its inutility. The value of art is therefore in direct and inverse proportion to its utility. Given that a pearl brooch of unwearable weight must be entirely useless, its artistic value must therefore be infinite.”